We’re sitting on one of the biggest health epidemics of modern times, quite literally. Researchers recently identified the troubling creep of “desk derriere”— fat, flat butts whose size and shape are the product of too many hours spent planted on our behinds—a malady anatomically specific enough to cut through the constant drone of dire obesity warnings from the CDC. The fact is, even if we’re not the size of that poor fellow lumbering ahead of us in the supermarket checkout line, many of us could stand to lose a few pounds.

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